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yeah fuck this feeling, I'm taking a tylenol and at least go lie out on the edge of the beach a bit. i can make it down there on crutches. i realize my surfing wishes are unrealistic anyway and certainly they are for day 1 getting here after two days of driving. rook fixed the modem by swearing at it and poking it again. still no wireless but one of us can broadcast to the other at least.
i htink i just having a moment of childish despair bcause I love the beach so much, i grew up on the beach, surfing, i am super good at it, it is my one athletic ability, or was, and i want to cavort in the waves and i know that even if i get all the way across the sand i'd be too tired and hurty to cavort. Also I brought this wetsuit? Honestly the thought of merely trying to put ON the wetsuit seems so exhausting it makes me burst into tears again. Also, the cold of the water is going to kill my leg and i've been in denial about that. I can barely stand the AIR on my leg and it's 80 degrees out. News flash to self, adjust expectations to be like you are 90 years old and enjoy the cavorting of kids, vicariously.
meanwhile i am lucky enough to be at the fucking beach on vacation (though working anyway at least 2 days) so i need to stfu and enjoy it. however for now i am tired of being mature and a grown up and adjusted to everything and i am going to cry some more about it all.
i htink i just having a moment of childish despair bcause I love the beach so much, i grew up on the beach, surfing, i am super good at it, it is my one athletic ability, or was, and i want to cavort in the waves and i know that even if i get all the way across the sand i'd be too tired and hurty to cavort. Also I brought this wetsuit? Honestly the thought of merely trying to put ON the wetsuit seems so exhausting it makes me burst into tears again. Also, the cold of the water is going to kill my leg and i've been in denial about that. I can barely stand the AIR on my leg and it's 80 degrees out. News flash to self, adjust expectations to be like you are 90 years old and enjoy the cavorting of kids, vicariously.
meanwhile i am lucky enough to be at the fucking beach on vacation (though working anyway at least 2 days) so i need to stfu and enjoy it. however for now i am tired of being mature and a grown up and adjusted to everything and i am going to cry some more about it all.
