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Improvements
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:26 pmBook cover draft:
I don't love this font and have strong feelings about good kerning... we shall see.
I asked 3 people for book blurbs and might go ask one more
Yesterday and the day before I was crushingly depressed, absolutely despairing, and then I got my period. Now I just feel regular to blah with moments of intense anxiety.
Went to the doctor today, a new one in another office in the same network of Fancy Online Doctors (tm) and he was SUPER nice, very sciencey, treated everything I said as data to be considered, and completely, completely got that there is Possible Underlying Problem but that "objective #1" is This Problem Right Here and Now which is my ankles. And not "that I am using a wheelchair" or "you shouldn't be in this much pain". He also appeared to think it an extremely sensible plan to go to an ankle specializing orthopedist in the local Sciency Academic Doctors hospital. THANK GOD. And they would pass me on to proper PT or rehab. I hope so and I hope I get a nice one.
I can follow up on this with him but the flaw in the whole thing is he is not taking new patients. He understood exactly that I'm looking for someone to manage some care and some diagnosis. He recommended the other doctor from that practice that was 2nd on my list from her description of being an internal medicine person with an academic/clinical background.
D. went with me to this visit and the doctor asked him for some info and opinions on the overall patterns of things. I tend to think everything is a cascade of yukkily combining orthopedic things. That may be but this guy was like, yeah, well, maybe something autoimmune though my blood tests are good. He also said the same thing I think about the vitamin d deficiency maybe contributing (and maybe fixing it will improve things for me) but not necessarily being The Thing Wrong (if there is a Thing) That all seems reasonable. I just don't think it's anything rheumatoid arthritis-ish because my joints aren't swollen and I never test positive for the lupus sort of things on blood tests.
He also seemed to get why a person might not single mindedly do nothing with their life but Pursue a Diagnosis and might just get along as best they can after years of misdiagnosis and stuff.
And why I am asking about what the point is where I should move and stretch vs. keep the ankles completely still. I am moving them a bit more the last couple of days but today wish that I had not. I am afraid the ortho people are going to tell me to do total immobility for them with the moon boot sort of thing. which ... i probably should already do while i'm in bed but it's so hard, they are heavy and awkard and I thrash around under the covers a lot. I'm going to wear the soft braces tonight. The thing is, they do feel way better when i keep them completely still. The rest of me needs to move around or i will be in pain all over. i need to fidget, bad!
So, anyway I felt very reassuringly validated and not judged. It was a relief. Nothing is any different, except that I now have a referral to a clinic and I feel like a person with good judgement listened.
I am still not back at work. Part of it is the pain is too much. It is hard to concentrate and I want to zone out and distract myself as much as possible. and part is that I don't know how to handle things emotionally, I am so upset at losing mobility, driving, etc. I didn't ask this doctor for pain drugs or talk about being upset.
I don't think trying to get to the pool will help at this point because car rides are so painful it wouldn't be worth it. I bought some therabands but am afraid to try.
Okay, off to read the end of Pippi Longstocking to A. before bedtime.
I don't love this font and have strong feelings about good kerning... we shall see.
I asked 3 people for book blurbs and might go ask one more
Yesterday and the day before I was crushingly depressed, absolutely despairing, and then I got my period. Now I just feel regular to blah with moments of intense anxiety.
Went to the doctor today, a new one in another office in the same network of Fancy Online Doctors (tm) and he was SUPER nice, very sciencey, treated everything I said as data to be considered, and completely, completely got that there is Possible Underlying Problem but that "objective #1" is This Problem Right Here and Now which is my ankles. And not "that I am using a wheelchair" or "you shouldn't be in this much pain". He also appeared to think it an extremely sensible plan to go to an ankle specializing orthopedist in the local Sciency Academic Doctors hospital. THANK GOD. And they would pass me on to proper PT or rehab. I hope so and I hope I get a nice one.
I can follow up on this with him but the flaw in the whole thing is he is not taking new patients. He understood exactly that I'm looking for someone to manage some care and some diagnosis. He recommended the other doctor from that practice that was 2nd on my list from her description of being an internal medicine person with an academic/clinical background.
D. went with me to this visit and the doctor asked him for some info and opinions on the overall patterns of things. I tend to think everything is a cascade of yukkily combining orthopedic things. That may be but this guy was like, yeah, well, maybe something autoimmune though my blood tests are good. He also said the same thing I think about the vitamin d deficiency maybe contributing (and maybe fixing it will improve things for me) but not necessarily being The Thing Wrong (if there is a Thing) That all seems reasonable. I just don't think it's anything rheumatoid arthritis-ish because my joints aren't swollen and I never test positive for the lupus sort of things on blood tests.
He also seemed to get why a person might not single mindedly do nothing with their life but Pursue a Diagnosis and might just get along as best they can after years of misdiagnosis and stuff.
And why I am asking about what the point is where I should move and stretch vs. keep the ankles completely still. I am moving them a bit more the last couple of days but today wish that I had not. I am afraid the ortho people are going to tell me to do total immobility for them with the moon boot sort of thing. which ... i probably should already do while i'm in bed but it's so hard, they are heavy and awkard and I thrash around under the covers a lot. I'm going to wear the soft braces tonight. The thing is, they do feel way better when i keep them completely still. The rest of me needs to move around or i will be in pain all over. i need to fidget, bad!
So, anyway I felt very reassuringly validated and not judged. It was a relief. Nothing is any different, except that I now have a referral to a clinic and I feel like a person with good judgement listened.
I am still not back at work. Part of it is the pain is too much. It is hard to concentrate and I want to zone out and distract myself as much as possible. and part is that I don't know how to handle things emotionally, I am so upset at losing mobility, driving, etc. I didn't ask this doctor for pain drugs or talk about being upset.
I don't think trying to get to the pool will help at this point because car rides are so painful it wouldn't be worth it. I bought some therabands but am afraid to try.
Okay, off to read the end of Pippi Longstocking to A. before bedtime.
