A strange encounter
After a morning of lying in bed reading a book on hoaxes, doing leg exercises very cautiously and getting up to stretch every hour or so, zond7 and I went downtown to see the Batman movie. My knees are not doing well and right now hurt all the time even if they are straight and stay still, but they hurt move if I move or walk around. So ankles + knees right now. I brought a vicodin with me to the theater but didn't take it. The movie was awesome and distracting, and Batman was such a badass supercrip. I never thought of him as a supercrip but certainly in this movie he is. I will not say more without spoiler warnings!
The strange encounter was on the bus on the way there. I was in the front right wheelchair seating area, and then a very old lady who had some difficulty maneuvering got on the bus and said she can't be in the back left spot. I moved for her and it was no problem. A while later another old lady got on with a large walker full of bags and stuff so it was unfoldable. I pushed the button a stop too soon and before I could really communicate with the driver he had unfolded the ramp... so she had to wait to get on the bus. I then wished after she got on with the giant unfoldable walker that I had gotten off a block early! But there was no way to know what was going to happen.
When I then was getting off the bus, the walker lady said she could not move and I said well I think we can figure this out. She was very annoyed and very unmoveable. The driver closed the door and started up the bus again. I panicked a little and told him I wanted to get off. Zond7 was already out on the sidewalk since he went out the back door. Luckily the driver was just moving up a few feet so he could unfold the ramp in a better place. (It would have been fine anyway if he had taken off as I could have gotten off at the next stop a couple of blocks away.) I explained to the lady with the walker that I could ask people to move back in the aisle, back up past the spot I had been in, and she could go in there, I could pass her, and she could sit back down. She agreed. We proceeded to do that and everyone cooperated very nicely.
As this complicated maneuver was happening, a man standing on the back stairs to the bus stuck his face right into mine like 2 inches away and went "JESUS H CHRIST!!!" I remember saying, "What... What? What did I do to YOU? WHAT?" and he hissed slow and loud and super dramatically, "LOOKING AT YOU . . . MAKES. ME. SICK." He had an odd face which made me think of cartoon line drawings from the 1940s. Sort of square and lined and lantern-jawed with old fashioned 40s dude brylcream-ish hair. There was this million year pause. I forgot that I had a cell phone right in my lap and eloquently went, "Well... FUCK YOU! Fuck off then!"
I got off the bus totally forgetting the poor lady with the walker. Zond7 had just been up in the guy's face demanding "What did you just do? What did you say to her?" Cartoon man was just leaving as I explained to zond7 what he had said. He then took off after the dude and followed him down the street for a block and across the street, getting in front of him and clearly demanding some answers. I did yell "Oh never mind he is just a crazy old man" after him being like maybe 1% scared he would suddenly be in a fist fight with this jerk but then I realized zond7 is fine deciding what to do with himself and judging whether random bus man is going to shank him in broad daylight. (As I am.) And though I don't need or want any knightly rescuing I highly respect his ability to spring into Direct Action (as I do myself). It was a little bit hilarious watching him go into hyperdrive and nimbly spring around the mean hissing man who was increasingly desperate to get away. It was totally float like a butterfly and sting like a bee time over there.
The report was that the man had been kind of confused and not had any answer as to why he said that to me but that he thought I was rude to the old lady with the walker.
That was not why he yelled at me though, my take on it was that he was having some basic lesbophobia, thought I was by myself and too young to know how to respond to his abuse and "too young" to be using a wheelchair. Maybe he felt I was a cheating lazy person. But I have dealt with enough random lesbophobia to recognize it in disgust and hostility from totally random men on the street.
On the bus on the way back from the movie I suddenly felt like I didn't want to look at anyone and that I was full of hate or potential hate and wished I had headphones to play some very loud L7 or something. I also felt like I wanted to disappear or be invisible. But after a while holding zond7's hand began enjoying the entertaining people including lovely babies, interestingly formal sunday-dressed older women, and then a tipsy guy telling everyone about god and churches. He doesn't go to churches because they are a business and he doesn't believe in humans - only god! also, viva nicaragua! whether we are guate, or filipino, or what we are all latino! also, he doesn't mind what kind of wife, she can be 40, 50, 60, that's okay! he needs a woman! The guy next to him kept nodding uncomfortably and smiling and was kind of rolling his eyes but also laughing. He was from Michoacán. One row back there was another slightly drunk guy (filipino, he explained) who was more into the conversation and next to him a young guy who was just amused by the whole situation and did several offers to handshake but then faked out the drunk guy and laughed. All of that cheered me up because they were so totally benign and sweet.
I am lucky to have a fair amount of equanimity and fast recovery time. I have to say that it has also been a hard week in some ways dealing internally with the NB stuff, reading about the Readercon things, the horrible reddit thread which I don't even want to describe, and then becoming aware of the flyering and "rape is real" actions going on in Sydney so I have a lot on my mind. In some ways, it's just too much for me to even emotionally react. It's just like, "Huh." and then I want to think about something else. There's always something interesting! I am reading a robot-makers book and some icelandic sagas. So, whatever! It is possible that "fast recovery time" looks to other people like "borderline ADD"...
Home to coconut ice cream with blueberries and bananas. I have gotten through the day without pain medication or muscle relaxants for the first time this week. Tomorrow I swear I will make it to the pool. I feel bad for only going once this week but it seemed really unwise because my knees hurt so much. I wore a brace for a couple of days on my right knee, and iced everything a lot the first couple of days. I am doing isometric things mostly, and ankle rotation very slowly -- no leg lifts because it hurts my knees. I don't want to really leave the house or deal with the stairs. It has been a week of setbacks and some frustration at more pain and limitations.
Well, tomorrow swimming & then home to put my legs up, then in the evening I am going to NB to have another hive meeting & do some soldering stuff. I hope my mintyboost kits come in the mail tomorrow. Am also expecting stickers.
Must also mention the mind-bending experience of buying "Bust" magazine because it had an interview with Tavi who wrote Style Rookie and I feel very happy about her feminism and that she is the new master of the universe. Go, Tavi!!!! Bust has ads for vegan lube, Maker Faire, the new Dragonette album... I don't give a crap what anyone is wearing since I like wearing the same thing all the time, but the rest of the magazine was startlingly interesting. When I bought it in the Borderlands Cafe I felt like someone would catch me doing it and I would be SO BUSTED.
The strange encounter was on the bus on the way there. I was in the front right wheelchair seating area, and then a very old lady who had some difficulty maneuvering got on the bus and said she can't be in the back left spot. I moved for her and it was no problem. A while later another old lady got on with a large walker full of bags and stuff so it was unfoldable. I pushed the button a stop too soon and before I could really communicate with the driver he had unfolded the ramp... so she had to wait to get on the bus. I then wished after she got on with the giant unfoldable walker that I had gotten off a block early! But there was no way to know what was going to happen.
When I then was getting off the bus, the walker lady said she could not move and I said well I think we can figure this out. She was very annoyed and very unmoveable. The driver closed the door and started up the bus again. I panicked a little and told him I wanted to get off. Zond7 was already out on the sidewalk since he went out the back door. Luckily the driver was just moving up a few feet so he could unfold the ramp in a better place. (It would have been fine anyway if he had taken off as I could have gotten off at the next stop a couple of blocks away.) I explained to the lady with the walker that I could ask people to move back in the aisle, back up past the spot I had been in, and she could go in there, I could pass her, and she could sit back down. She agreed. We proceeded to do that and everyone cooperated very nicely.
As this complicated maneuver was happening, a man standing on the back stairs to the bus stuck his face right into mine like 2 inches away and went "JESUS H CHRIST!!!" I remember saying, "What... What? What did I do to YOU? WHAT?" and he hissed slow and loud and super dramatically, "LOOKING AT YOU . . . MAKES. ME. SICK." He had an odd face which made me think of cartoon line drawings from the 1940s. Sort of square and lined and lantern-jawed with old fashioned 40s dude brylcream-ish hair. There was this million year pause. I forgot that I had a cell phone right in my lap and eloquently went, "Well... FUCK YOU! Fuck off then!"
I got off the bus totally forgetting the poor lady with the walker. Zond7 had just been up in the guy's face demanding "What did you just do? What did you say to her?" Cartoon man was just leaving as I explained to zond7 what he had said. He then took off after the dude and followed him down the street for a block and across the street, getting in front of him and clearly demanding some answers. I did yell "Oh never mind he is just a crazy old man" after him being like maybe 1% scared he would suddenly be in a fist fight with this jerk but then I realized zond7 is fine deciding what to do with himself and judging whether random bus man is going to shank him in broad daylight. (As I am.) And though I don't need or want any knightly rescuing I highly respect his ability to spring into Direct Action (as I do myself). It was a little bit hilarious watching him go into hyperdrive and nimbly spring around the mean hissing man who was increasingly desperate to get away. It was totally float like a butterfly and sting like a bee time over there.
The report was that the man had been kind of confused and not had any answer as to why he said that to me but that he thought I was rude to the old lady with the walker.
That was not why he yelled at me though, my take on it was that he was having some basic lesbophobia, thought I was by myself and too young to know how to respond to his abuse and "too young" to be using a wheelchair. Maybe he felt I was a cheating lazy person. But I have dealt with enough random lesbophobia to recognize it in disgust and hostility from totally random men on the street.
On the bus on the way back from the movie I suddenly felt like I didn't want to look at anyone and that I was full of hate or potential hate and wished I had headphones to play some very loud L7 or something. I also felt like I wanted to disappear or be invisible. But after a while holding zond7's hand began enjoying the entertaining people including lovely babies, interestingly formal sunday-dressed older women, and then a tipsy guy telling everyone about god and churches. He doesn't go to churches because they are a business and he doesn't believe in humans - only god! also, viva nicaragua! whether we are guate, or filipino, or what we are all latino! also, he doesn't mind what kind of wife, she can be 40, 50, 60, that's okay! he needs a woman! The guy next to him kept nodding uncomfortably and smiling and was kind of rolling his eyes but also laughing. He was from Michoacán. One row back there was another slightly drunk guy (filipino, he explained) who was more into the conversation and next to him a young guy who was just amused by the whole situation and did several offers to handshake but then faked out the drunk guy and laughed. All of that cheered me up because they were so totally benign and sweet.
I am lucky to have a fair amount of equanimity and fast recovery time. I have to say that it has also been a hard week in some ways dealing internally with the NB stuff, reading about the Readercon things, the horrible reddit thread which I don't even want to describe, and then becoming aware of the flyering and "rape is real" actions going on in Sydney so I have a lot on my mind. In some ways, it's just too much for me to even emotionally react. It's just like, "Huh." and then I want to think about something else. There's always something interesting! I am reading a robot-makers book and some icelandic sagas. So, whatever! It is possible that "fast recovery time" looks to other people like "borderline ADD"...
Home to coconut ice cream with blueberries and bananas. I have gotten through the day without pain medication or muscle relaxants for the first time this week. Tomorrow I swear I will make it to the pool. I feel bad for only going once this week but it seemed really unwise because my knees hurt so much. I wore a brace for a couple of days on my right knee, and iced everything a lot the first couple of days. I am doing isometric things mostly, and ankle rotation very slowly -- no leg lifts because it hurts my knees. I don't want to really leave the house or deal with the stairs. It has been a week of setbacks and some frustration at more pain and limitations.
Well, tomorrow swimming & then home to put my legs up, then in the evening I am going to NB to have another hive meeting & do some soldering stuff. I hope my mintyboost kits come in the mail tomorrow. Am also expecting stickers.
Must also mention the mind-bending experience of buying "Bust" magazine because it had an interview with Tavi who wrote Style Rookie and I feel very happy about her feminism and that she is the new master of the universe. Go, Tavi!!!! Bust has ads for vegan lube, Maker Faire, the new Dragonette album... I don't give a crap what anyone is wearing since I like wearing the same thing all the time, but the rest of the magazine was startlingly interesting. When I bought it in the Borderlands Cafe I felt like someone would catch me doing it and I would be SO BUSTED.