Jul. 17th, 2015

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I had a great time at the minicon and party last night and kind of participated quietly at the level I could handle. It is partly about planning and partly about changing my expectations of what I can do.

Sat on padded benches near the back with people I knew all around. And just kind of listened to the panels and gossiped and spaced out. Then we went to stef's house which was a block away and where he made us all tea while we laid on enormous couches playing with the cat. How ideal! It was like stunningly better than my other plan which was lying on the floor upstairs somewhere in the club.

Then back to trek up the stairs, which I partly had to sort of bump up on my ass becasue I was dizzy and also my left arm is too weak to really support my weight. I had some very nice drinks and conversations. stef wants to do welding and design things for the scooter project. Woooo! I knew we would find someone nice. we'll see.

I was standing next to Laura Poitras and wanted to talk with her and with Bruce S. but they were so deep in conversation and I didn't think that either of my reasons to talk with them was cause to interrupt their Deep Thoughts. But, swoon, Poitras. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Then went and fulfilled the plan to lie on the floor int he green room area.

I felt suffused with love for everyone there for their battles against dystopia. Flawed as they may be. (people and battles)

Spent goodly amt of time just looking at sarah's amazon stats with her and giggling happily as her book is #1 in various categories. I predict good things will and already are coming of this.

We stayed just till the start of the main party to see robotsnowden and short speeches & then escaped. I went to sleep and D. live tweeted his reading of sarah's book until like 4am.

Today, hung with Moomin quietly and then dropped him at the library to meet rook. Went to therapy (first time in over a month) A lot has happened. Feels like a year! I took notes on some things. I come out of it relieved to talk things over and with some practical thoughts that crystalize and then I go over them and type them up in a big list of Therapy Insights About Pain and Disability and Slowing the Fuck Down.

Pain was sometimes manageable today to like a "6" level with out vicodin but then went sparking up in the afternoon to an "I can't even think straight" 7 so I took a vicodin and went off in the car.

Riding in a car is very very hidesouly painful with shingles on your torso because everything shakes it around and you have to hold the seatbelt out from your body completely. There is a decision to be made about whether your back should touch and stick to the back of the seat, or whether you hunch forwards trying not to have friction, but having more jolting. I opted for molding myself to the back of the seat. I feel raw! Flayed even.

Many more thoughts but time to sleep.

My ambitions this weekend are to water all the plants slowly and tenaciously.

June 2017

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