Sep. 15th, 2015

badgerbag: (Default)
I have thought of the perfect bad invention. This my best one yet. The Vulva Clip-On Tie! Its labial folds cascade gracefully and the clitoral knot handily fastens to your collar. You can actually stick your hand or at least a finger into its depths. There has to be a pouch hidden away behind the labia for sure. It should come in various shades and configurations!

Someone get on this please and post me the etsy link or just sell it directly to me

I will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS from this idea, exactly never.

World! I love you! Have this free idea!!!!!!!

Love,

Me
badgerbag: (Default)
I have a complaint about the series I'm reading (another glenda larke angst festival). It is a desert continent, or region or something, and there are people with specific water magic. They can be rainlords (controlling water fairly well) or stormlords. Stormlords can actually get water from the ocean, which is the only body of water anyone knows about, separate it from the salty parts (CRUCIAL) and evaporate it into clouds and then direct the clouds to where they should go (over the stormlord owned cisterns) to rain. Combat skills of stormlords and rainlords, besides threatening everyone with no more water ever, include pulling the water directly out of people's bodies. Eyeball dessicating is the most convenient battle tactic!

OK so onward. There are only 3 kinds of animal, I think 2 kinds of "pedes" ie giant bugs you ride on or use for pack animals, and then "ziggers" which are deadly little bugs you keep in a cage or deploy via zigtube, which when they are released immediately go burrow into someone's brain to feast on it. (They know your perfume, so they don't attack you or your cohort, who wear.. the same perfume.) I'm ok with this more or less BUT I am now absolutely fed up with the ONE KIND OF FOOD AND PLANT EVER. Bab bread. Bab flour. Bab bread with bab filling. Bab paste and mash for the 'pedes. Bab matting. Every other page there is a new fabric, furniture, craft project, market tchatchka, or food that is their ONE CROP EVER.

Holy shit, people. Eat some sand or something. Get an ecology!

Book 2 is obviously working itself up for the main angsty Last Stormlord on the run who tragically can't separate out water from salt water, to realize that those distant white mountains are SNOW which is WATER and so he will finally be able to do his full stormlord thing except he probably shouldn't, because ffs go live somewhere that has real foods in it.

the only saving grace of this ecological system is that its one tree is mercifully not named "twat".

P.S. The people all name themselves after rocks and minerals because having too many people named "Bab" would be confusing and there is no other substance to name yourself after.

p.p.s. fuck bab.

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