Hey, as long as we define someone else's getting "their acts together" as thinking and behaving in ways that you agree with and based on theories of reading you subscribe to, there's absolutely no reason you should give people the benefit of the doubt that they'll do that. Because they won't.

I'm not expecting anyone to think exactly like I am. When I expect people to "get their acts together" when it comes to discussions about racism, it means I expect them to engage in the struggle - not roll out when it got tough. And not to sit back and turn the whole thing into a conversation about how hurt they are. Like no one else was hurt by it at all. That's bullshit and it's dishonest.


But as long as you assume malice, you're unlikely to understand people. That's your choice, of course. And no doubt it feels a lot fuzzier than supposing that any of the miscommunication problem falls on your side.

And I say again, it's rare that I ever write people off completely. It's not something I like doing. More likely I'll stop talking to someone first and maybe we'll come back to it later and maybe we won't but the door still is open to some degree.

I have the right, and I'm sure you've opted to do the same at some point of your life, not to let crap in when it has no use. This does not.

Should you want to continue this conversation, you can contact me at ladyj dot 965 at gmail dot com. I'm not going to hijack Liz's journal with this.

Liz, I'm sorry this is getting out of hand and I'll take it somewhere else.