Crossposts:

http://badgerbag.livejournal.com/496357.html

I had a nice day but the sciatica is being extremely horrible. I can't predict whether I'll be able to take a step with my right leg from one moment to the next. It's painful. Sometimes I just can't use the leg very well. Back on crutches in the house. I'm trying not to walk around. The PT warned me to be very careful and not bend over and reach. Yeah I know. I am having trouble putting on my socks especially the right sock. Right now I'm just very scared it will flare up and get worse. At its worst it is unbearable pain and it takes me 20 minutes to turn over in bed or to get up from bed. Okay. Fear is the mindkiller, etc etc, right? I am doing the stomach muscle exercises (which I do constantly! every day! )

Today was nice anyway and I went out to get a massage from hazelbroom. I took a different bus (the 67) and definitely prefer the Mission buses because they don't lurch and twist around (hard on my back).

I sat in the Haus cafe for a while. It is so hipstery! And... very nice. Then got a burrito at Las Palmas (PERFECTION!!!!!)

Dudes on 24th and on Mission tend to really want to bond with me. Not in like a super bad way but I am assumed to be socially available when I'm on the scooter in a way I haven't quite been experiencing otherwise.

I shook hands with a very sharp dressed old old man named Eloy on the corner of 24th and something while waiting for the light to change. He walked with a cane. He showed me his leg which "they" had wanted to cut off and said he would die. It was indeed very scarred up! He told them, "You can't cut off my leg! I'm going to live!" and they didn't and he did. I remarked on the leg and he remarked on my boots. I said it was a beautiful day and he went, "But you are MORE BEAUTIFUL by far" in a courtly way. Then he apologized. But most of the random stranger encounters it is more like grifters who think I might hang out and share a pint of jack daniels. Eloy I can respect.

I am enjoying my encounters with other disabled people on the bus, even just the nod hello. And the bus drivers who nicely leave the seats up in a spot or two during the middle of the day which is cripple on the bus prime time. (I now see why.) I had a bit of a conversation with an older lady with I think Downs or some other issue who was a bit scruffy with ID around her neck on a string and a big bag of cans clearly going down the 24 to the recycling dropoff. "I sit right here, and I hold on, and I've got my bag" was basically her conversational content. "You've got lots of cans!" "It's okay, as long as I sit right here, and hold on. I've got my bag..." etc. Then we just sat. But I felt like the other riders warmed to her a bit after that.

I ended up feeling that I shouldn't have gone out at all but I am still glad I had a nice time and some sun. Tomorrow I might just stay here, sun myself in the back yard, go from bed to couch and back, ice my low back and do very gentle stretches.

I wish I had some prednisone.

Ankles still suck but it's amazing how much I don't even care and just wish the sciatic pain would go away. It's good that I can't actually make that kind of devil's bargain. Oh, I won't 'care about THIS pain if only this other one will go away forever! Yeah right!!!!!!

The manta ray piñata proceeds apace. It dried a little bit wonky on the underside so I will try to build it up tomorrow.

I can't bend down to pick things up off the floor. Just remembered the kids have robot claw toys! i need that immediately!!! today i kept dropping my phone. God forbid I should cough or sneeze. omg the pain. I will probably have vicodin and a shot of vodka tonight... because I can't take it... and I need to be able to sleep. Surviving by reading and gaming non stop.

Yesterday I worked on poems a little and had really good thoughts so I know there is hope and my brain isn't dead.

Hanging in there!