badgerbag: (Default)
[personal profile] badgerbag
I am doing a bit better, I went out last night and tues. night to DU meetings, and was optimistic for tonight but despite doing NOTHING but lie in bed today.... I felt too horrible to go out. As it got closer to the time I should go I got more and more stressed and then realized it was NO GO.

I did eat most of a turkey sandwich with lettuce, and then some chicken soup later. So that is WAY better on the eating. I am still losing weight and still in pain though when I eat. My other trouble today was joint pain. i ached all over and did not want to walk at all. my knees and ankles are painful enough even just lying in bed. I have taken a vicodin and they still hurt while i am lying here. I know it will not be a good night of sleep when I hurt this much. My feeling is that I walked around a lot out of both optimism/excitement at my stomach improving and also to try to show my mom I was doing ok. That backfired.

Tmorrow I will take tramadol in the morning and will finish this draft of my article and will not try to go out unless I actually feel up to it.

Feeling a bit on a downer and sad and like I am about to fuck up and disappoint everyone about everything. This feeling also probably means I am just super super tired and pain is getting to me.

Date: 2014-01-24 07:13 am (UTC)
sara: S (Default)
From: [personal profile] sara
I hate it when I am feeling bad and have to do health care stuff instead of going to some meeting I feel like I should be going to because I have to save the world or some building or whatever.

That totally happened last night. I was supposed to go to a meeting but I could hardly walk.

On the upside, because I took care of myself last night and went swimming instead of to the meeting and took drugs and therefore got a decent night's sleep, I felt a lot better today and was able to lead a walking tour and do the Introduction to Local History With Particular Reference To Various Themes of Leftist Historiographical Concern for about forty people of various ages. Which is frankly more constructive than going to yet another meeting with the same people about how very much I don't want them to do the problematic thing they want to do would have been. Because the people at the meeting do not want to learn from me, but the people who come on walking tours DO want to learn, and it is more important to save my energy for working with people who want to learn and work on good projects together.

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