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[personal profile] badgerbag
I am "back" at work. Working mostly from bed and the couch. It's overwhelming as everything is different after 2 months. I was in the middle of switching teams. Well, trying to keep a totally open mind and not be stressed. I would dearly love to have one solid thing I can do that I know is helping someone else and it would be nice if they were doing something Actually Useful. Forced myself to jump in and start talking. Gaaaaah!

The hackerspace is going beautifully & makes me so happy. Gosh it was amazing last night. I had a happy feeling that things will carry on now even if I can't do much. Talked with people had special happiness talking with sumana who I am very fond of and her friend from san jose. At some point I focused in on my zine about marie jenney despite the room full of exciting company and got to a more final version of my tiny zine. It needs a bit more work on the margins. I aspired to illustrate it but was too tired to draw. So it is almost all text. I have one more sentence I should stick in there to synthesize the way her individual racism as an author of the play ties in to the systemic racism in the movement she was part of. I said both of those things but did not explicitly connect them. It is an experiment in saying some that complicated in a very tiny zine. homage + disappointment + anger. I am already thinking through the 2nd one which will be on ida b wells and the alpha suffrage club. Anyway, event. I felt old. In a good way. Must remember to shut up a bit more.

I can eat a bit more and tried different things today like celery. I was able to eat more often instead of just twice a day with the meds. It still hurts but it was possible to eat something. I got instacart groceries and made soup in the crockpot. Thought of the many times I just had to eat toast or those 4 for $5 frozen pizzas for weeks uuuuuugh. It's so comforting to have grocery delivery. So, I had more variety today which was amazing. Celery, some goat cheese, blackberries, and chicken soup with hominy.

My knees, ankles, and hands hurt like fire even through vicodin so I'm feeling pretty worried. I want to get back to where I was with mobility, not slide backwards. I wanted to clean up today and maybe go out on the scooter to the store 1 block away. I could not handle it. Was a bit stunned by pain today.

I think I erred by not taking tramadol around 1 or 2pm. That should be my routine for a while to get through work days. Any later than that and it has to be vicodin which makes me too stupid-feeling for work.

Posted cleaning/laundry on taskrabbit as there is just no way. (Hands.... plus not doing well walking around the house) Ideally, I get up and move around often and do small tasks, it keeps me from stiffening up. Today that was not working out well.

I am icing my knees, ankles, and hands often. Tomorrow I can do Enbrel which I hope will give me a boost.

I don't know if I can make it out tomorrow, there is a meeting at the space but I also have a thing Thurs. night. I don't think I can go out two days in a row. I should obviously not do either one. If I had to pick.... which? Meeting would be responsible of me and is cheery and intimate. Requires less energy. But people can do a meeting without me just fine. MVC launch I have to be on a panel and I feel like it is more important for me to represent.

Also I need to do article edits like fury.

OK must not think about any of that, back to my Agatha Christie and some careful rotation of ice packs about my burning aching joints.

How ridiculous was that racist white girl crying in yoga class, I swear to god, shades of wiscon trolling.... About the same sort of obvious self-hate but mutated into spectacular concern trolling. So ignorant and horrid! It reminded me i need to go make sure there is a really good White Women's Tears article in the gf wiki. uhhh, maybe not this week tho. Shutting up now, icing hands....

Date: 2014-01-30 08:07 am (UTC)
brainwane: My smiling face, in front of a wall and a brown poster. (Default)
From: [personal profile] brainwane
*hug* I am fond of you and it was super great to get to chat with you and introduce you to Sarah!

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