badgerbag

yay lovely day!

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 02:48:46 GMT

Incredibly lovely day with lots of people coming over for Skud Salon! Thank you everyone for coming, bringing food, cleaning up, and being so warm and lovely and fascinating. (And of course for not minding if I go lie down while you carry on in the living room.) Only sad part was that it was just a bit too chilly/cloudy to enjoy the patio.

Moomin loafed without anything being required of him other than "Make these corn muffins". we made a google doc brainstorm for things to do this summer that would be "F-Unschool" aka "effing unschool" aka home-schooled summer camp/school. It included swimming, cooking, going to the beach, playing and reviewing board games, teaching me some things in minecraft, letterboxing and treasure-mapping the 2 small nearby parks, and Lightbot.

OK, to bed again. I may fall asleep for the night. Given that I was able to deal with today and don't seem worse, I will count on being even better tomorrow and am going to figure I can go to Portland by Monday.

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intersection of napping and gargling

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 22:59:54 GMT

Nargling?

Fever going up and down between 99.7-102. It sounds like radio stations! I am gargling very very often with salt water, brushing my teeth a lot, and not eating sugar or bread, all recommended for oral thrush. The white stuff is only on about 1/3 now and the other 1/3 that was white is now red. The right third of my throat looks mostly normal with only a few white spots. I think that is an improvement? As long as it doesn't keep spreading across the rest of my throat.

ate live culture yogurt, endless tea, some coffee, chicken and beans and rice. I might go out to get more garlic and make very spicy garlicky udon to try and make my sinuses feel better tonight.

but first, nap time.

late in the night i did some sort of zonked- out extreme sinus massage pressure thing that made things improve internally. I can breathe more out of my nose now most of the time.

i put in laundry, brought in the trash, did dishes, yarnivore came over and brought me a plant. I watered all the plants. last night i began bustling a little bit to tidy things. This is an improvement over the last few days of being listless. normally i joy in keeping everything nice. There is still l(clean) laundry all over but i am too tired to cope with it. nap first then scootering to obtain garlic (and extra bag of dirt for the plant that yarnivor brought)

went thru some paperwork searching for a's birth cert. found it. grtted my teeth to do this.

emailed a bunc for work but did not get "things done" other than moving along the emailyness so that people dont think i have disappeared.

Missing Moomin's graduation. there is just no way. I can only sit up for like 20 min before i fall over. i am too dizzy. when i close my eyes everything just spins and it's like i'm falling into soft darkness.

speaking of which ..... this is a very nice soft pillow here. i shall close my eyes and computer for a while.

so fucking tired!!!

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worried all over again though

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 03:01:27 GMT

I just went to look at the back of my throat again in the mirror wondering if I was silly to go to the doctor (who asked me if I even *had* tonsils and appeared not to be able to find them.)

So, still, all over the left side there are giant white bumps and sort of a horrid other thing and there is actually more of it now than there was earlier this afternoon. I can actually feel it all rubbing against the back of my tongue like sandpaper. Maybe it is thrush. But it's like he didn't even see it... though I asked twice. Hrmmm. Feeling some belated doctor-mistrust (it was not my regular, very smart doctor). It also hurts all the way up into my ears and i feel like i am about to gag all the time. Will continue gargling with salt water. Maybe I will make a new appt. with my regular doctor. Dr. Internet says to eat unsweeetened yogurt and keep gargling.

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Peak whininess

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 02:47:00 GMT

Sick as a dog here with a cold. Went to doctor to check out white patches all over the back of my throat. Doc says it is not strep and I can keep on with Enbrel. I am worried about missing work, and also I feel hideous, weepy, and sluggish. I began crying today somewhat ridiculously as I thought how happy I am not to be "in an airport, or in jail, think when bradley manning gets a cold, at least I am in this nice warm bed with a cat". This is how I play the Glad Game when I have a mild fever.

Reading The Feathered Cloak by Sean Dixon. It's excellent! I see why Moomin was so reverent of it!

Feminist hackspace meeting was lovely, adacamp was amazing, I miss zond7, and i am eating all the ice cream in the house.

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Various updates

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 02:34:04 GMT

I am tapering off Cymbalta. Too many meds, and I think that enbrel + voltaren + occasional tramadol will be enough. My doctor okayed the tapering off and suggested how to do it. Two motivations here: one, the possibility of triggering serotonin syndrome, and, I never liked the cymbalta and feel I am on so many meds I can't tell what's helping, what's causing side effects, and what's not.

Furious and freaked out over the PRISM / NSA stuff. Donated more to EFF and to the transcription of bradley manning's trial. It freak me out that either there is some way through the infrastructure or ISPs for them to be backdooring/tapping everything, or there are groups of people at each compromised company that know about this and agreed to it, and that go around complicit in it, keeping this disgusting behavior secret.

Massive spate of emails about adacamp. Massive overload! But it is interesting to see something so broadly participatory take shape.

I worked hard on working out a tactile map and writing up a text adventure style walkthrough of the event space. I will post that tomorrow and suggest it to some other conferences.

Work is going well and I am working fairly hard despite not feeling all that great this week.

It is my birthday on Saturday! :) My mom got me a bunch of things from my amazon wishlist.

I am mad about various anti-rape activist stuff, just like, very fired up, and a little bit freaked out.

My grandparents' funeral happened just as I was on my way to WisCon.

WisCon was great.

My friend Zach gave me an old scooter he fixed up and it is very huge and comfy, and a bit faster than my little one(s) and has huge batteries and bigger motor. So, that means it is a bit unwieldy on the bus, and i don't need the vast bulk of it (built for a much larger person than me) But it is very driveable! I loved going down Mission today on it. Am building Zach's scooter hacking site.

That is all for now!!!!!

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The actually good reading

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 21:40:08 GMT

Brain Plague by Joan Slonczewski. Very good but it is dragging and confusing a bit in the middle-to-end.

Heiresses of Russ is fabulous! Really great! Hilarious, trashy, satisfying. Wishing for more cuban submarine captains with sexy mermaids. This morning I poked danny awake to say "Magical lesbian plumber ex girlfriend drama with an undine! In portland!" Ahahahaha. Good stuff in there. I need all these anthologies!!!!!

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Casual reading 80s flashbacks

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 21:33:36 GMT

Read a hilariously bad anthology edited by Asimov called Computer Crimes and Capers or something like that. So, so, so, so much gratuitous sexism, I flashed back to my pre-teen days of first reading all the horrible science fiction in the cypress creek branch library. Perky secretaries in body stockings or futuristic paint jobs, just raring to be sexually noticed by 60 year old cigar chomping jerkfaces! World o' men! So amazing. Then read a frederick pohl book which wasn't QUITE as bad; I always thought of him as "not as bad, but still bad" and lo, I still think so! I did like the heechee boy and the smart crutches-using low-grav girl subplot!

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Dreams of shots gone wrong

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 01:55:59 GMT

Bad pain in the night! Seems like it is getting worse. But I walked around okay in the afternoon.

I dreamed last night that I had to give myself enbrel shots, more than one, with a huge long syringe that kept falling apart and I had some kind of horrible gangrene or sepsis. Then for some reason trying to walk around a crowded city street, with my cane, looking for Target because inside they would have scooters for borrowing and I could get a better mattress so I wouldn't be in so much pain in the night. Ugh!

I woke up at 7am crying with pain and trying to move my hands slowly to unstiffen them. It took a while of nightmareish not quite waking up all the way till i could get my voltaren from the nightstand and smear it around. Middle back and knees were also super bad.

After a bit I got up to take Tramadol. By 10 or 11 I was more active, trying to do phone calls and meetings. Took tramadol again, and Vicodin on top of it. Worked a fair bit. With frequent breaks as my hands hurt too much to type a lot. (which is not stopping me from whining here)

By noon I was walking around, going outside in the sun, and A. came over. She took me in the car to get flowerpots. I then made dinner.

Another tramadol and half a vicodin.

zond7 and A. went to get ice cream to celebrate her end of school. i would have liked to all go out together but am way too tired. I want to cry...

Enbrel is not coming till maybe Tuesday . there are a lot of things i would like to do like garden, make a bench, fix things, go to noisebridge, organize books, sew badges onto my backpack, and drive around scavenging pieces of wood and things to use for flowerpots, digging to the bottom of the community garden compost heap for dirt. instead i will take it super easy and try not to do things. it is a little depressing. I need to rest up for ada camp and OSB . but as my mom points out i will then feel worse after sitting up all weekend and then traveling.

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also, three amazing rescues

Wed, 29 May 2013 21:01:59 GMT

Just got all sorts of notices that my medical insurance company UNPAID all the bills they had paid since I started working at Moz!!!

It is now maybe almost straightened out though the fallout will persist for months. The new insurance thought suddenly that I was still covered under my OLD insurance. So they un-paid every single medical visit. The old insurance verified that I wasn't covered, but told me over the phone that they could only snail mail me something called a Credible Coverage Letter. But, here is the amazing part, my new insurance company had a very nice person who called the old company for me, and got the verification over the phone. She says she will re-submit all the claims. If that works, it would save me a lot of work calling all the doctors' offices to get them to try to resubmit.

Amazing rescue number two. the Enbrel people authorized a re-ship or an override, or some way to send me another month's worth of shots to replace the ones that got put in the freezer. I feel lucky!

Rescue three was that I was SAVED in the airport when we got delayed -- I use one of those days of the week pill boxes to track medication. Thought that I had filled it completely, with an extra day covered in case our plane was delayed, but I missed 2 days, so I ran out of Cymbalta on Monday morning. My 2nd tiny pill bottle with backup meds wasn't on me, because I thought it was too paranoid and an extra thing to carry.. By monday night (when our plane WAS delayed) I was in horrible cymbalta withdrawal. So I had the shakes, and felt very strange, and kept having sort of twitch-shock jolts down my arms and legs. Mentioned this in the airport and the friend we were sitting with HAD EXTRA on her. I am still having side effects, but how much worse it would have been if I hadn't been rescued monday night! Thank you, you-know-who!!!!!!!!!!

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Enbrel's Saga

Wed, 29 May 2013 18:40:49 GMT

I am back from WisCon! I didn't blog about anything! My hands hurt too much to do transcripts, but I twittered some panels and had a lot of fun.

A. accidentally put my new month's supply of Enbrel in the freezer so I have been on the phone trying to get it replaced.

Meanwhile, All the old enbrel injection sites on my body have suddenly become bruises. It is very strange! They weren't bruises before! And they itch.

My body hurts all over, i have some visibly swollen knuckles, i'm not in good shape physically and am declaring this a day of rest, recuperation, and sloth. i took a Celebrex of Desperation, and am on full dose of tramadol, but in way too much pain and not walking well. Lots of work this morning just to un-stiffen and be able to move.

This much pain in last finger joints means it is hard to effectively wash my hair. That has never happened before. Still possible tho using most of my right hand. left hand, hahaha, no.

Catching up on email, re-doing my to-do list. Worried about work and catching up with all the things I need to do. It won't happen today but I swear to god I'm going to work super hard as soon as possible to make up for all this.

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Whoops!!!

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:09:16 GMT

I accidentally have two rooms at WisCon! Aaaaack!

It is a governor's club room with king size bed, shower, access to the 12th floor lounge with free drinks and food.

email me if you want it! if no one emails in the next couple of hours I will cancel the extra reservation. lizhenry@gmail.com.

Completely forgot that I booked this room *at last year's wiscon* and then i took over tempest's extra room. AHahahahahah.... fail.

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extra space!

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:04:57 GMT

halloa! i will be flying out to WisCon tomorrow, with Moomin! So excited.

our 3rd roommate will not be getting in till friday morning, so if you need a space to crash on Wed. or Thurs night, or need a spot to rest up during the day, just ask!

Yay yay yay I am very excited. But I have to keep thinking about work for another couple hours here. I worked late last night figuring that today my head would be full of packing and plans and it is VERY DISTRACTING. :)

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Apple rhubarb crumble

Sun, 19 May 2013 01:48:26 GMT

I made a up nice recipe! It is green apple rhubarb crumble and is gluten free.

- crumble stuff is brown sugar, butter, oats, tapioca flour, coconut flour
- 4 green apples, maybe 8 stalks rhubarb, brown sugar, tapioca flour, cinnamon, ginger, honey

I sauteed the rhubarb for a few minutes to see if it was very juicy, but it wasn't. Threw a spoonful of honey in there and about as much ginger as my thumb. Then mixed it with the apples and sprinkled some sugar, cinnamon, and tapioca flour on it all figuring that would thicken the juicy inside.

Mash the brown sugar into the butter, then mix in the oats and various kinds of flour.

I cooked it maybe 40 minutes at 375. It is perfect! The ginger really makes it. If I could have found the cardamom I would have put a pinch into the apple/rhubarb filling. This much stuff filled a 9 inch square glass pan.

Gluten free stuff is for Zond7 who is trying this out and seems to be doing better on it. Hard to stick to. Next I will try making gf cornbread again and then gf mac and cheese with brown rice pasta.

Day of domesticity and naps - I put up a lot of hooks and brackets and did a lot of laundry. A. continues excitedly doing things to create a Paradise for Birds. At 7am she was up asking me for "chores -- chores that might be like watering the garden or filling the bird feeders." OK! Chores! 7am! hop to it, kid! Over the course of the day she helped me drill holes, screw screws, and oil the patio benches with teak oil.

She duct taped a yogurt container up on top of the highest fence for crows. Her rambly singing has switched between lullabies and fake crow calls all day. Moomin did some homework (but has WAY MORE) everyone but me played a board game called zooloretto and A.'s friend from school came over.

Zond7 slept off his jet lag. I also did some worky things over the day when I was resting my ankles and not asleep. We're hoping to see the star trek movie tomorrow!

So lovely to have more energy, be able to walk around today, etc. and use my hands so much for things like drilling, screwdrivers, laundry, and carrying things. It may not feel very good tomorrow. And yet Enbrel <3 <3 <3 <3

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A story of loud public disinhibition

Fri, 17 May 2013 05:35:35 GMT

Just realized this evening my sinuses really are going haywire. This maybe explains why I feel so generally rotten, and my head hurts, and I spent a day dizzy and sick. Maybe it's just that I actually am sick. Well, whatever.

Not a bad day. Though very long and I cried on the way home from the pain clinic. Before my appointment I went to the fabulous House of Paincakes (not really called that) and had a totally delicious hummus/falafel/tabouleh/dolmas plate with toasted pita bread. it is all very fresh and homemade and was 8 bucks for the lot. Yeah! Worked from the cafe, then oozed over to the Pain Rooms.

The waiting room smelled unbelievable like someone had just crop-dusted with farts, or a disco fog machine but with old armpits, farts, yawns, and gym sock mold. Really, what was wrong with that place! Along with the other people trapped there I delighted in a 2 year old who was being entertained by a nice lady with an iphone. Fish! Dora! Bubbles! Etc. Then they looked at a highlights magazine together while the father beamed proud & nervous that maybe the kid was going to start annoying the nice strange lady. Then a new lady came in and went "Huh! This place smells like MUSKY BALLS!" (2 year old: "Ball? Ball? Catch? Bounce? Ball? Bounce? Dora?) I could not believe I had just heard this out loud. Whose balls has this woman been smelling, anyway? Gross! Did she really say it? Was there something else she could have said that I mistook for "musky balls?" Should I ask her? Was I smirking? Hahahah! Holy wow!

The rest of the people left over the next few minutes for their appointments or as their partners came out of the PAIN ROOMS inside the super secure drugs-inside-here door. It was just me and Ms. Muskballer. She mentioned the weather. I agreed that it had been foggy and cold, but was getting nicer outside. We agreed the sun is awesome. She told me how she loves to go in her back yard and sunbathe. Me too!

"And I sprawl out. I don't care, maybe someone way up there (gestures towards imaginary 3rd floor window) can see me but I just don't care, I'm all in my altogether out there in the sunny morning now that I'm in Union City instead of Alameda where the fog would just get at me." "Oh, me too, morning fog, goes right into my bones." "So I sprawl out like THIS" (demonstration of Sun Worshiping Wide Open Beaver yoga pose, arms up)

Hahahha! No one can see me in the yard either except maybe from way up! So I just, you know, get a little sun in there too! (We both crack up as I mime coyly lifting up my shirt).

"Well I just love the sun. I go down to the Caribbean 3 times a year just to get my sun but now I get it in my own back yard. You know, it's close in here. "

"Yeah it's not very..."

"It smells like MUSKY BALLS in here. It's not right." This time I know I heard it! GLORY TO THE BALLS LADY. It is the best time I have ever had in a waiting room especially one that stinky. I went over to the door and wedged a trash can in it to get more air in. We then discussed how much sun was optimal on the skin and whether we used sun screen (only sometimes). Then the doctor came out.

The new resident or guy on rotation was very nice, though, he did the horrible rotating-outwards thign that hurts like fury to test me, and my blood pressure was unusually high. (still high normal) Maybe I will stop eating butter and go back to olive oil and vinegar for my toast. Rotation guy suggested I try the old compound ketamine cream on my ankles. Dr. Major General was awesome as always but impressed me extra with a special, gentle, two handed flat palmed handshake that had NO SQUEEZING. Genius of the pain clinic! My next injection is at the end of June.

Bus ride hard and crowded and jolty. I was a bit teary-eyed. Finally home. yarnivore was here with A. who came home early (there was a plan , with a friend, but it fell through) Baby birds discovered in the birdhouse in the backyard! A. declared she would make the yard a paradise for birds! We could hear them peeping in there and see nest material but the birds seemed to be huddled up against the front just out of site. Birdseed scattered! expedition to the park to get sticks and dead leaves so that bugs would live there and the birds could eat them! Beans and flowers planted! (this all happened while i laid on the couch.) Yarnivore and i laid about talking about arthritis. We ate bean soup. Hours later A. broke the news there are no birds. The peeping noise was the wood of the birdhouse rubbing against the fence! Chagrin.... "But we will make it an awesome bird paradise anyway because the birds put nesting stuff in there so they will come back!"

Video chatted with Zond7 in Norway. He is stuck there an extra day but on his way home now! Hurrah!!!!!

Going tomorrow to see A. play the flute for the school concert.

OK, taking some more sinus meds and then to sleep.

Oh wait. Stranger in Olondria was very good! I loved it! I knew I would from the excerpt booklet from last year's WisCon. Dreamy and lovely....and all the quotations and literary allusions from the narrator! I didn't want it to end. I'll read anything Sofia Samatar writes!

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dizzy lizzie

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:12:12 GMT

Feeling dizzy and nauseated. Maybe I am getting sick and it isn't all about swimming the other day? Or, it could be related to having taken NSAIDS. Loss of appetite also. I am eating anyway but minimally. At least I managed to work today.

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Swimming good intentions

Wed, 15 May 2013 03:34:15 GMT

Swam today. Fucked up my ankles. Fingers crossed I don't go back into the space boots.

What should I read before WisCon? I need some escapism, quick.

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rainbow!

Sat, 11 May 2013 03:47:19 GMT

yarnivore drove us to rainbow grocery, where we had an epic, dawdling, overwhelmed shop. I have a spaghetti jar and 3 kinds of bulk bath salts, bulk brown rice, a flat of coconut water, a new bamboo cutting board, a peeler, AND SUNDRY.

I could not see up to the signs that tell you where things are. Need new glasses for sure.

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So many friends so little oomph

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:44:10 GMT

So many people dropping by these last few weeks! I am really enjoying it. It is lovely to make tea for everyone and sit around gossiping and working on stuff. I also like feeding people. Got a bonus check and celebrated with mildly luxurious groceries like honey "hand harvested in small batches in the Mission". Bwahahahaha!

I have a plot to make decadent mac and cheese in the slow cooker very soon!

I am physically at my limits and also sort of emotionally, pushing to the edge of what I can handle. Pulling back in a just a tiny bit as I can't afford to mess up my physical ability right at the moment , but I still intend to drive out today for an errand if I possibly can. Though there is no rush. Might be tomorrow. I'd like to see if I can drive to either REI (to return the snow boots which turned out to be unnecessary) or Rainbow (to get bath things and brown rice in bulk) I can handle REI in my manual chair. At Rainbow I could borrow their store scooter. It is not very far to drive if I do it when traffic is low in the middle of the day.

Enjoying domesticity. I have a new system for the countertop, with 2 tins for the coffee which I got and used and now am refilling with much nicer quality coffee.

Other small goals are to get some pictures framed and to obtain more large flowerpots.

Going to type to dictation for my friend Zach on some ideas he has and I need to write up some Hive things.

I am so happy that I'm sstill capable of gardening but as I found this morning it is unwise to try doing things like repotting even a small plant it in the cold or fog. My fingers hurt.

My neck is getting better but still iffy. Asking the massage person to shove in deeper rather than just go gently was a big mistake (i say even 2 weeks later) and then trying to "stretch" it rather than just letting it be another mistake. Ice and staying still were good. The pain and the twitch are still there, but much calmer. It gets worse if I nod a lot while listening or turn my head to the left or lie on my left side.

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Back patio woolgathering and lollygagging, or not

Fri, 03 May 2013 18:25:01 GMT

Same dealie as last week! Come on over any time, 11am-ish onwards, and I will be loafing, puttering, pastry-eating, gossiping, coffee-drinking. Perhaps some toenail-painting, knitting, bestickering, world domination plans, and light gardening. Bring food if you like - it is quite popular.

D. will be at the hackathon at Noisebridge so if you want to HACK AND REMIX, go to the against-the-Transpacific Partnership hackathon, which has the BEST LOGO, and DO THINGS. They will be doing things in cahoots with several other hackspaces, including ones in Peru and Mexico!

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Come over!

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:36:20 GMT

The last few weekends it's been super nice out and we all end up hanging out on the back patio of our little shack. Very relaxing! And it is nice to have visitors. This is in keeping with my Secret Master Plan of being more social without burning out or exhausting myself. Also, I love to play host though am a bit half-assed about it.

So come over, there will be a bunch of people dropping by this weekend, and i might make this a regular thing. There will be nice coffee, tea, abundant pastries from the guatemalan bakery, and hanging out with computers and books and crafty things, in the half sunny half shady back yard. WHICH HAS TWO AWESOME NEW BENCHES. Obviously (??) bring you r laptop. There may be a little book swapping action as well if you have anything to bring. I certainly have books to give away... Also there are nasturtium seedlings and probably succulent cuttings if you want some. There will almost certainly be children playing Minecraft.

rsvp! 11am onwards.

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O tramadol, my tramadol! (redux)

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:32:20 GMT

Much better today! Woke up at 6:30, took a half a tramadol, and continue to nibble on halves. Much much better this way. It is not perfect and I don't want to walk around, but it is not like I want to curl up unmoving and be unconscious, either. And the scrip refills today too.

I have worked like a fiend on worky things and feel all on top of everything. Am almost caught up on my Postponed Tasks. Went over my Q2 april goals and I am actually fine for those too. I have never had such clearly outlined goals or Things to Do or such a good organization for to-do lists before in my life. (well, a bit for my thesis, that's when i really kicked into gear.) It is certainly helpful.

Grocery shopped. Got myself flowers (cornflowers, purple iris, and yellow daisies).

Along the way to the store, going up Cortland to the top of the hill, all the little yards with plants are in full spring mode now, with the flowers blooming and incredibly variety. forsythias, little purple lantanas, salvia, still some oxalis and wild garlic, things that look like tiny sage-colored fuzzy leaved morning glories with light purple flowers, irises, really good bright deep red things that look like mini-iris that I couldn't identify...

I have a few more hours of good work left in me, am going to go till 3pm and then stop early, and get my prescriptions.

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Hurty

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 23:25:27 GMT

Cannot manage to do anything. Right around noon I lost it and started taking painkillers and now I have taken 2. Pecking at work things. So exhausted and impatient and melancholy. I hate having to basically just write off a day. Also, I was so happy to use my hands for things like scissors and chopping food and doing bits of gardening (as well as, say, shaking hands with people) Now they are horrible again. Maybe from swimming on Tuesday and holding onto the kickboard (instead of arm floaties) that is my theory. Whatever it was, it fucking hurts.

Knees too. I also blame the colder weather today.

Must try to be extra kick ass tomorrow, or on weekend.

my task list (RTM) is really good, and i mostly keep up with it, and today is just the 2nd "postpone" day where not all the things get done.

Listless. Feel like refusing all projects. Grrrr.

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Realizations

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:18:04 GMT

Woke up to a call from my old bank's visa card billing. I thought the amount due was the total on the card and had thought of it as a leftover card I barely use anymore. Hahahahah. No. I panicked a bit. Turns out it has some travel stuff on it, and some horrible MRI medical bills, and the $2000 scooter I bought last fall and immediately returned, which they never credited me for.

Spent the day figuring out and turning in all my work travel and conference registration paperwork so I can get reiumbursed. Left a message for the scooter people. They better refund my money omg. I will also get a fairly minor tax refund. That all adds up to about 4K. So actually I am in okay shape. Though I also still sort of owe zond7 2 months rent from last fall. I would like to be saving money again by September at the latest, this year.

I also thought a bunch about everything from the last year.

I went through a catastrophic change in physical ability and spent a year on leave. That was painful and terrifying. I am still slowly coming out of that. But I adapted fast, and I coped okay.

Zond7 and I moved in together, which is awesome in every way.

And we both have new jobs that are super intense, that we like.

That is a lot of stuff!!!

That's all! Maybe I can only see it clearly now that things are calming down a bit. Feels like I'm reeling from all of it.

We did the other half of the stuff to stay in the garage. It is all out of cardboard boxes (moldy, boooooo) and into plastic bins. There is a huge pile of stuff for donation and trash hauling. Yesterday I put together a 2nd park bench for our little yard... it's really nice out there now. Such a relief to have more energy, to be able to do way more stuff, walk around.... I over did it this weekend but my body will be okay.

The kids have been playing minecraft on Moomin's server that I got him for his birthday. his friends skype him and his cousins also get on. It is awesome. Last night it was at least 2 of his cousins, A. and her friend yatima's older daughter, and a couple of moomin's friends, all on skype building a statue and temple to Herobrine, who is a sort of Minecraft folk legend. Anyway, it is lovely to hear (and watch) them all talking together at once, coordinating what they're doing, learning to structure their projects, persuading each other to work on the same thing and how to do it, and then taking breaks to run around in various arenas shooting at stuff or each other with particular rules. It's just great! I try to make them get out of their pajamas and go out side a little bit, but really don't mind if they are online all day doing this. They are making cool stuff and learning a lot! (A bit of daylight and some chores... and remember to eat... that is all I ask.)

In the evenings we have been reading Rumo by Walter Moers which I predicted would be the book of the series that would specially appeal to Ada because the Wolpertings are so fierce and cool. (While Moomin's particular one is obviously City of Dreaming Books.) Zond7 reads so beautifully. His Smyke voice amazes me, it is so perfect for the character. And his comedic and dramatic timing is great too. Just that he's doing it on the fly... how can anyone!! I can't wait till Rumo gets to the Wolperting city. A. will freak out with happiness!

She did go out today to run up to the slides on the hill with her friend from down the street. Moomin stayed here, did his homework, and made all the dragons out of the klutz paper flying dragon book.

I am DJ-ing from spotify, using airfoil and my airport express to stream it wirelessly to the speakers in the living room.

We are cooking beef stew in the crockpot. it took 5 minutes for us to make & it smells amazing.

Soon.... doctor who. life is good!

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i drove my car!

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 02:35:41 GMT

That was exciting. Last fall I couldn't do it, ankles just would not have been strong enough. I drove 1 mile up the hill and to do a very boring but satisfying errand. I could not brake with my right foot but my left foot did ok and felt stronger. But, by the time I got there my legs were all noodly feeling.

I had never been in the Lowe's before. I had the manual chair in the car but the store had electric scooters (slow and horrible and beepy, but I appreciated it...) Got 10 giant plastic bins for the stuff in the garage. The cashier brought all the bins and 2 big bags of potting soil out for me & loaded them in the car.

Home & felt even more noodley and shaky. So, I see which muscles need help in my legs, but am not sure what to do for the ankles and knees other than just try more water exercise and hope they strengthen up.

The other day I thought about trying to walk to the corner, but I chickened out. I think I can do it but worry it will screw up my knees if I try it too soon.

It felt strange to be going so fast (20 mph hahahh) and not to be in the open air like on the scooter.

I'm not quite ready to be driving yet but it was nice to try.

Thanks to my friend Z.'s efforts the car is back in commission and I am sharing it with him and yarnivore also kind of wishing I had made some effort to fix it and let people use it before now. Seems like such a waste of a resource that it sat in the garage for a whole year.

had another decent work day, though after the car trip did not get a ton of things done. nearly my whole list for the day.

I then got caught up looking at the anon opjustice4rehtaeh and then read the fb profiles of every kid who has a public FB page and goes to that high school. There were only a couple of hundred. Found one of the kids who is likely one of the rapists. He must be the dumbest one, to post on his fb about how he made a mistake and hopes to be a better person now. I screen capped all of it. two of the kids out of a couple of hundred with FB pages .... only 2.... posted on rehtaeh's mom's post (from the humane society) to say anything to commemorate her life and death or offer condolences. I'm sure many of them are privately, but it was a bit sad. Anyway, I had this just sick fascination staring at the photos of this guy who says he made a mistake. I had a moment wondering if I would put out a link to his profile but then no. He is going down, and it will all come out over the next couple of days, obviously. I felt solemn and grim staring at his page.

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